Swing State

Politics and Humor…but I repeat myself

Between Two Ferns w/Zach Galifianakis…Perfect

“So I hear you won a golden globe…I’ll mark that under who gives a shit…”

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January 14, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Lady Gaga (googoo) in The D tonight…

I see via FaceBook some of my friends are going…I also see via Facebook I have many more homosexual friends than I originally thought I did.

Here is some awesome GaGa from before she was a freak.

January 13, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a comment

TV and Cultural Icon Threatens to Quit Over Program Time Slot Move

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me.  For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky.  That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with MTV to star on “The Jersey Shore.”  I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future.  It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule.  Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with Jersey Shore  in its infancy, MTV has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, MTV executives told me they intended to move Jersey Shore to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35.  For 60 years the Jersey Shore has aired immediately following the late local news.  I sincerely believe that delaying the Jersey Shore into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting.  The Jersey Shore at 12:05 simply isn’t the The Jersey Shore.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it.  My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Jersey Shore. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction.  Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter.  But with the Jersey Shore, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next.  My hope is that MTV and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Snooki

January 12, 2010 Posted by | Just For Fun, News from the News, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

So the fight sucked…but here is to “Money” Mayweather at his best

May 7, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Dome Nation Episode #1

May 3, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Romney in Michigan

Former Mass. Governor Mitt Romney will be speaking at the following GOP functions this week in Michigan –

FRIDAYLivingston

County
LDD7pm

Barnstormer
Banquet
Center
9411 E.M-36

Whitmore
Lake
 

SATURDAY 


Saginaw LD Breakfast830am
Germania Club
Saginaw 


Genesee LD Lunch12noon

Blue
Collar
Banquet
Center

400 Saginaw St


Flint 

Eaton/Ingham LDD7pm
Summit Sportsplex

9410 Davis Hwy

Dimondale

April 27, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

The Dems Debate

Watching it now…thoughts after it is over.

April 26, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Breaking News: Sheryl Crow exposed in mummy costume at 99′ Halloween party after calling for a reduction in the use of toilet paper!!!!

Environmental activist Sheryl Crow  shocked the work recently when she called for a reduction in toilet paper use as a means by which the average person can save the planet.

“Crow said that in order to save the planet, people should be -in most cases – limited to one square of toilet paper.  I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming,” Crow wrote.  “Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. “I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.”

In a story that you heard first at Swing State the recent discovery of pictures of Ms. Crow from a 1999 Halloween party dressed as a Mummy and covered from head to toe in the toxic pollutant have seriously called into question her statements calling for a reduction in toilet paper use.

While Ms. Crow has been unavailable for comment, a source who wishes to remain anonymous, has also cited Ms. Crow’s participation in numerous “TP”ing incidents at rival sorority houses while in college.  These reports are merely speculation at this point.

I just got off the phone with the Charmin Bears and they had this to say about the apparent hypocrisy in Ms. Crow’s statements in light of her behavior:

 

 

“We found it very disconcerting that Ms. Crow would dissuade others from enjoying the soft and fluffy delights that our products bring into the lives of consumers when she herself has apparently misused our products for recreational purposes.”

“We would also like to add that as far as we are concerned, after seeing pictures of Ms. Crow she is also under suspicion in our community for breaking into our house, sleeping in our beds, and eating our porrage.”

 

 

April 23, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Who has better hair, Romney or Edwards?

“Well, John Edwards’ campaign for president spent $400 on February 20, and another $400 on March 7, at a top Beverly Hills men’s stylist, Torrenueva Hair Designs.”

~Ben Smith’s Blog 4/16/06

“The former governor of Massachusetts laid to rest on Friday any rumors that he dyes his hair black. His sleek dark coif, with just a hint of gray on his sideburns, is completely natural, he told reporters following a fundraiser in Milwaukee.

“I don’t dye it. I don’t color it and you can take a real close camera shot and see there’s a lot of gray mixed in with all that black,” said a laughing Romney.”

~Boston Globe 3/23/07

April 16, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

This is what I call setting someone straight!

April 11, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Some Random Chuck Norris Facts

I have not heard any of these in awhile and they are always good for a laugh – enjoy! 

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

5. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

6. Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t **** with Chuck!” Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

7. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

8. To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

9. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

10. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

11. Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No fat Chicks.

12. When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”

13. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

14. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is “Charles”. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

15. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

16. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”.

17. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and **** on their floor, just because he’s Chuck Norris.

18. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

19. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you’re thinking to yourself, “That’s impossible, I already lost my virginity.”, then you are dead wrong.

20. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O’Brien’s lever that shows clips from “Walker: Texas Ranger” and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan’s wife.

21. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

22. Chuck Norris doesn’t have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the **** out of viruses. That’s why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

23. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can “accidentally” beat the **** out of little kids.

24. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is “his” way.

25. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that ****** did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

26. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn’t give him exact change.

27. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

28. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.

29. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

30. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, “I’ll give you something to cry about,” and roundhouse kicks them in the face.

April 11, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Quote of the day

Via someone at my roommate’s job:

“Did you hear me Mike and Todd are getting pigs? I’m gonna name mine bacon.”

April 4, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

No joke…this is very scary

I really don’t know why some white people still think it is going to be funny when they dance to rap… 

 Napoleon broke the mold folks, sorry.   No one will ever top it so stop trying…

Or then there is always the greatest of all time…

March 30, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

08′ Trends

HT- Michigan Cooler

March 28, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Forget 1984 someone should do a Tron ad…or Rollerball would be even better!!!

O.K. aside from the fact that this is absolutely pathetic compared to the Big Sis Hillary parody, I think it is a very important footnote for the future of elections.

Everyone has been talking about this election as being the first true election of the average person.  With outlets such as  blogs and You-tube campaigns have less control over the message that is portrayed about their candidacy.

Grassroots support can swell from underneath a candidate with these mediums and they can create media attention for a candidate (as we have seen in this case) that is completely outside the candidates control.

With that in mind…I would like to suggest a new theme for independent campaign supporters to use for an attack ad.  Please see the following clips below and adapt as you see fit.

This could be a very interesting election cycle….

Welcome to the FREAK SHOW!!!!!!

Lets hear your ideas!!!

March 22, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Romney is under attack by the Boston Media

comrade.JPGIt is no secret that the Boston media market has been very critical of the states former Governor and current GOP Prez contender, Mitt Romney.  However this week the media generals have launched into DEFCON 5 with their assault.

The cover of the Boston Herald, which I picked up over at Hotline is focusing on Mitt’s recent “fumbleia…fumblerooski” from down in Miami.  (I had original thought this would be something that would be taken as just a simple mistake) but has since really picked up some steam as something that people are really upset about. 

The article states that, “Cubans in Miami are steaming mad at former Gov. Mitt Romney for shooting his mouth off in stumbling Spanish, mispronouncing names and erroneously associating a notorious Fidel Castro-spewed Communist catch phrase with freedom fighters. ”

The Romney camp, who has to be in full fledged damage control mode by now with this one (so much so that a video of the speech that Eye on 08′ had found has since been removed from the net) is running with this talking point to cover up the mess:

 “The point is, the phrase belongs to liberators, not oppressors. It doesn’t belong to Fidel Castro. It doesn’t belong to Hugo Chavez. It belongs to a free Cuba.” 

Personally, and I think that most people out there understand, that a mistake like this is obviously the result of some poor research and some bad advice from someone in the Romney camp rather than a purposeful stab by someone who is trying to run for President, but things like this effect different people in different ways.

I think that the message delivered by my personal idols, Matt Stone and Trey Parker (the creators of South Park) from this seasons first episode really rings true in this case.  (As it will forever shape my outlook on situations like this in the future.)

The episode focuses on the use of the “n” word, which I will admit is some different than the situation surrounding Romney debacle, but I think the over all message still applies. In this case, Stan can not figure out why his dad’s use of the “n” word on national TV, since it was used by mistake and in a non threatening fashion, continues to bother his black pier Token.  Stan’s main argument becomes a classical defense fallacy in cases of this sort, “its was just a mistake and it is just a word.” 

This does not seem to appease Token as he continues to give Stan the cold shoulder for the rest of the episode.  In classical South Park fassion, Matt and Trey hit us with the underlying message behind the episode right at the end when Stan comes to the realization that “he doesn’t get it.”  Instead of trying to apologize and justify the action Stan realizes that he must simply admit that “he just does not get what it feels like to have someone use that word.”

I think that defenders of Team Romney in this case would be well served to use this type of defense in their handling of this situation rather than the generic fallacy that I laid out above.  I think it is wrong to criticize people that get upset by things of this nature, and I think it is wrong to blow it off as merely a mistake and “not that big of deal.”

When it is all said and done most of us will never really understand what it feels like to be put in a situation where words offend us and why they do so.  Since the entire situation blossomed from a certain level of ignorance, I think it is better to use ignorance as an “excuse” if you will, rather than apathy.

Again, I will admit that I view this situation as a simple mistake and something that Romney should not take a ton of heat for, but then again I am just unable to grasp why certain people would view it as offensive, so my opinion really does not matter.

This video kinds of explains the philosophy behind my argument since I was unable to find the actual clip online because VIACOM sucks!!!!!

Whew…now back to the original point of this post…

I also came across this article from the Boston Globe in which the writer, who is obviously fed up with what he views as numerous “flip flops” from Romney for political benefit launches into a bunch of hypothetical situations where he can envision Romney going on certain issues to get political benefit when things are not going his way.

In the writers own words:

“Now that Mitt Romney has flip-flopped on, deep breath here, abortion rights, gay rights, gun control, immigration policy, and campaign finance reform, what’s left to reverse? Maybe this:

July 20, 2007

DES MOINES — Trailing by double-digit margins in the polls to thrice-married Rudolph Giuliani and twice-married John McCain, presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced yesterday that he was seeking a divorce from his longtime wife, Ann.

Sept. 30, 2007

GREENVILLE, S.C. — With the public rallying around Rudy Giuliani in his public estrangement from his son, Mitt Romney called a press conference to announce that he had severed all ties to his five boys.

Dec. 5, 2007

MANCHESTER, N.H. — Presidential candidate Mitt Romney denied ever being governor of Massachusetts, telling supporters at a private fund-raiser: “Check the records. I was never there.”

I think you get the gist of where the article goes from there.  Now it is obviously written with heavy sarcasam, but I think it sets a very important tone for the future of the Romney candidacy.

Romney is someone who many insiders are siding with in the early stages if the GOP battle for the nomination, and he has prove to be a very formidable candidate as far as fundraising potential goes; maybe even the best in the field.  However Romney has been plaugued throughout his campaign by bad press and is at risk of letting the negative attacks from the media shape the general publics perception of him rather than allowing his campaign the ability to do that themselves, and in a much more positive light obviously.

If this current trend continues and his pole numbers remain in the cellar than no amount of endorsements and no amount of money will be able to pull him out of the abyss…just ask John Kerry.

March 20, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | 4 Comments

1984 Hillary

 Thoughtcrime does not entail death: thoughtcrime is death…Let the conversation begin

~HRC 2008

March 18, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Michael Moore Exposed…Manufacturing Dissent is a must see…

From IMDB 

It’s hard to count how many documentaries have been made about Michael Moore, but those made by Canadian left-wing fans seem to be a bit scarcer. Supported largely by Canadian financiers, Manufacturing Dissent starts out as a balanced exploration of filmmaker and political personality Michael Moore. The film documents Moore during his 2004 national touring campaign for Fahrenheit 9/11, his politically sensational documentary that spoke out against the integrity of the Bush Administration. As the film progresses, the filmmakers are disappointingly unsuccessful in securing an interview with Moore, and as they try, facts arise questioning Moore’s credibility as a journalist, his film-making techniques, and his personal character. It concludes on a much less optimistic note than at the beginning, gradually disclosing a reluctantly-developed disenchantment with the fervent Midwestern public activist. What makes Manufacturing Dissent particularly unique is its resistance from sensationalizing its condemning findings. With an attitude of professional reserve, Manufacturing Dissent strategically uses subtlety and a careful resolve to disclose straightforward facts and present the comments of interviewees with accuracy and integrity—a set of convictions that many viewers, in turn, observe to be lacking from Moore’s bountiful supply. This is a film that speaks, first and foremost, to the die-hard fans of Michael Moore. Leftist followers owe it to themselves to experience the cautious, revealing process that this film provides.

Wikipedia Page

Manufacturing Dissent is a 2007 documentary that aims to expose the misleading tactics of filmmaker and polemicist Michael Moore. The documentary exposes what the creators say are Moore’s misleading tactics and mimics Moore’s style of small documentary makers seeking and badgering their target for an interview to receive answers to their charges. The film was made over the course of two years by Canadians Debbie Melnyk and Rick Caine after they viewed Fahrenheit 9/11, Moore’s controversial film attacking the Bush administration and its policies.[1] Melnyk and Caine have stated that when they first sought to make a film about Moore, they held great admiration for what he had done for the documentary genre and set out to make a biography of him. During the course of their research, however, they became disenchanted with Moore’s tactics.[2]

March 18, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment