Swing State

Politics and Humor…but I repeat myself

Breaking News: Sheryl Crow exposed in mummy costume at 99′ Halloween party after calling for a reduction in the use of toilet paper!!!!

Environmental activist Sheryl Crow  shocked the work recently when she called for a reduction in toilet paper use as a means by which the average person can save the planet.

“Crow said that in order to save the planet, people should be -in most cases – limited to one square of toilet paper.  I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming,” Crow wrote.  “Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. “I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.”

In a story that you heard first at Swing State the recent discovery of pictures of Ms. Crow from a 1999 Halloween party dressed as a Mummy and covered from head to toe in the toxic pollutant have seriously called into question her statements calling for a reduction in toilet paper use.

While Ms. Crow has been unavailable for comment, a source who wishes to remain anonymous, has also cited Ms. Crow’s participation in numerous “TP”ing incidents at rival sorority houses while in college.  These reports are merely speculation at this point.

I just got off the phone with the Charmin Bears and they had this to say about the apparent hypocrisy in Ms. Crow’s statements in light of her behavior:

 

 

“We found it very disconcerting that Ms. Crow would dissuade others from enjoying the soft and fluffy delights that our products bring into the lives of consumers when she herself has apparently misused our products for recreational purposes.”

“We would also like to add that as far as we are concerned, after seeing pictures of Ms. Crow she is also under suspicion in our community for breaking into our house, sleeping in our beds, and eating our porrage.”

 

 

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April 23, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized

2 Comments »

  1. when Sheryl said:
    “in order to save the planet, people should be -in most cases – limited to one square of toilet paper”

    It was a fucking joke!!!!
    Why the hell does the world keep taking this so fucking literally???????!!!!!!!!

    Comment by clare | September 8, 2008 | Reply

  2. Hello. And Bye. 🙂

    Comment by kookimebux | February 1, 2009 | Reply


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